A Diagnostic

So here it is.  My very first cancer scare.  I got a blunt little letter in the mail today from the radiology center where I had my mammogram last week.  I'm going to try and attach it to this post, so you can see it.  But it basically says there was a problem with my test and they need to do another one.  I called the number on the letter and they told me that I'll need a diagnostic mammogram on the right side.  The word "diagnostic" scares me.  But not as much as the words "biopsy," or "cancer".

After I processed this information I talked to my mom.  She told me that her second bout with cancer started just like this.  She apparently went in for a routine mammogram and it came back inconclusive. So she went in for a diagnostic, which was also inconclusive.  Because of her history of cancer, they ordered an immediate biopsy, and sure enough, it was very early cancer.

I'm surprised by how not upset I am.  I'm actually taking this in stride, I think.  I mean, it scares me, but I also know that I have an excellent plan ready to go into action at any time, and I know that I'm sort of prepared for this.  Seriously, I have an 87% chance of getting cancer, so it's not like I should be surprised, right?

I've also read about other women who are BRCA+ and have had inconclusive tests or other issues leading to biopsies that came back negative.  So part of me is thinking that's what's happening here.  But another part of me is thinking about the 5 previous years that I've been having exams and screenings and everything has always been clear.  I've never had to come back for additional screenings.

My "diagnostic" is scheduled for Tuesday.  I'm willing to bet that it will take two weeks or more for my results to come back, just to add to my stress.  Cross your fingers for me.