Just Got Real.

Yup. This just came in the mail along with pre-op instructions. I'm freaking out just a little. Now it's real. Like really real. Whoa.

Onward...

I'm mentally preparing myself for my surgery now.  It's getting closer and closer and I'm getting scared.  I have never had surgery, so not only do I not know what to expect, but I am also worried about the recovery, and the negative opinions I'll be facing.  I know I shouldn't be worried about that, but it's hard to ignore it when people you love and respect judge you critically.  Anyway, my mom booked her flight and my surgeon's office confirmed I still have my May 30th appointment, so I suppose we are on track!  Dr. F also called me and informed me that my mammogram and MRI both came back great so I don't have to have any lymph nodes removed during surgery.  I have to remember to ask him whether they are still going to biopsy the breast tissue they remove.  I think they will, but its better to be sure!

I also had lunch with a friend I have made on my journey.  Her name is M Hart and she has a blog as well, which is featured on my blogroll over there on the right -------->
I had lunch with M because I was obsessing over whether implants were the right course for me.  M had the other surgery, the flap one, where they pull your existing tissue up into your chest and make you new boobs. I'm so glad we had lunch because M reminded me why I had chosen the implant surgery in the first place, so I am back to being confident in my decision.

I've also decided to run one last 5k before surgery.  There's a Preakness 5k that benefits Susan G. Komen next month, so I have plenty of time to get ready for it.  It feels nice to have a goal other than just surgery.  I like the distraction!

I Got New Ink!

I have been wanting this tattoo for a long time, probably about 2 years.  Originally I only wanted a pink ribbon that said Fight Like A Girl.  But about a year ago, my brothers both got a set of purple boxing gloves tattooed on their legs in honor of my mom.  She is a two time survivor and her favorite color is purple.  So I wanted to incorporate the gloves into my design, but I had no idea how.  My sister-in-law and I came up with numerous ideas and my brothers helped a little too, as did my mom.  We all kind of hit dead ends.  So I decided to share my ideas with a professional and let him draw it out, and I am so glad that I did.  I absolutely love my newest tattoo, and I am so glad that I got it done!

My Ovaries Look Beautiful.

...according to my ultrasound, anyway. In addition, my uterus is in fantastic shape and I'm looking good in all of my reproductive areas. I saw Dr. I last week and he gave me my glowing report. Now I have to go do my annual CA 125 blood test, which is the one where they check my cell counts to see if the numbers are astronomically high, which could indicate ovarian cancer. No big deal. That's the easiest of all of my tests. I'll see Dr. I again in September. By then I may have my implants in!!

Speaking of implants, Dr. F called to tell me that my MRI and mammogram came back clear and that we're all set to proceed with surgery. His surgery scheduler called to tell me she's going to send me a packet with all my instructions. He also told me that since I've never had any suspicious cells in my scans, we don't need to remove a lymph node during surgery. So that's one less decision that needs to be made!

I'm really nervous still, of course, but I'm starting to get a little excited. I really want to move forward and get this done so I can put it behind me. Obviously I know it will never truly go away. I will still have to see Dr. F, Dr. I and Dr. C for many years to come. But once a year is way better than twice a year each plus numerous medical exams and tests. I hate those. Plus, I get to get a breast reduction, which makes me super happy considering I'm now a DD. I might have to burn my bras in the fireplace to celebrate :)

Done With Tests!

Woohoo! I'm so happy to report that today, I had my very last mammogram and breast MRI! Well, I might have another MRI in like ten years to check the integrity of my implants but that's so far away it's not worth worrying about. Even then, the MRI will be much shorter and I won't have to get the contrast dye. Yay! I'm so excited. No more boob squishing or metal tasting tests for this chick!

Surgery is coming up fast. I'm getting scared and excited at the same time. I'm excited to not have to struggle with strapless bras (or any bras!) anymore, and I'm scared that they're going to put me under and I won't wake up. I'm sure that's probably normal and I'm sure I'll be fine. It's just a nagging little thing in the worrying region of my brain I suppose :)

Anyway, I'm going on vacation tomorrow for my brothers wedding, so I'm excited for that too! I need a thesaurus, I think...

I Have A Following??

So, I've been tracking my page views, and it seems that people are actually reading this.  Which is awesome, that was the intention.  I'm just kind of surprised.  I have two official "Followers," so I don't really know who my readers are, but please feel free to introduce yourselves if you ever want to say Hi!

Boob Identity Crisis

Ever since I scheduled my surgery, I find myself having odd thoughts, like, "This will be the last winter I have nipples," and, "My upcoming trip to Florida will be my last vacation with real boobs."  Weird, right?  I've also been browsing maxi dresses online because I'm going to Florida in March for my little brother's wedding, and I need some cute stuff to wear.  I've recently become obsessed with maxi dresses, but that's really not my point.  Anyway.  So I'm looking at maxi dresses and realizing that I probably shouldn't buy any because right now, with my DDs, I need a size Large.  But after my surgery and fills and everything, clothes are going to fit so differently.  I mean, I'm going from a DD to almost totally flat, and then two weeks later I can start getting fills, but it will be at least 6 weeks before I'm at the size I think I want to be, which is a large B.  I've been top heavy all my life and I'm over it.  I'm excited to see what my new body will look like, but it freaks me out a little when I think about how I have no idea how my clothes will fit.  It's going to take a lot of getting used to.  This is going to be my frumpy summer where nothing quite fits right, I think!