It's hard to believe it's been a month already. It's crazy how much I've improved since I woke up in the hospital. I feel really normal again and I have very few limitations at this point. I can't wait to get these expanders out and heal completely and get back to my life!
I've had 2 fills in my expanders now, so they are each at 200ccs. I get 50ccs at each appointment, and I will be aiming for a large B still. I'm still really happy with having small breasts. The most annoying thing at this point is that I can't wear whatever I want because things are so lumpy and weird. I have ugly fat bulges under my arms and my incisions still have puckered skin folded over. So I have to put some sort of padding in my shirt to smooth things out. I usually go with a padded sports bra, but sometimes if I have on something fitted I can get away with using those little triangles that you find inside a bikini top. I stuff them into my top and hope they don't pop out because I won't feel them! I asked Dr. C about all of this and I have been assured that they will do liposuction to smooth out the bulges and my puckered incisions will lay flat. He's a great plastic surgeon so I'm going to muddle through this and trust that he will give me a good cosmetic result.
Physically I feel good. I haven't tried running yet, because I've been so lazy these last few weeks that I don't think I have the endurance for it right now. I'm going to have to start slowly back into that I think. I have tried to do some sit ups and that went fairly well. I can get out of bed and get up off the floor if I sit down, I can put away dishes and drive again. I can't do laundry because I can't carry the basket full of clothes up and down the stairs. Two days ago I took my kids out for a day of errands and we were gone all day long, like we used to do before my surgery. I felt a little tired afterwards, but not sore.
My biggest complaint aside from my appearance is the expanders. They're really not comfortable at all. I still have trouble sleeping on my back, as I am typically a belly sleeper. I have to surround myself with pillows and turn slightly to the side to sleep okay. I also hate when something presses against my chest, like if someone gives me a hug, not knowing about the mastectomy, or when I put on my seatbelt. It's weird because I can't feel anything but the pressure. My skin has no feeling, which is fine. I really don't mind that part too much. It's just so awkward and annoying to have these hard plastic things stuck inside my chest. It's like having expandable tupperware in place of my boobs! They don't move, so if I turn my body they are in the way. If I cross my arms, I feel like I have rocks in the way of my arms. I have trouble comfortably painting my toenails because I have to kind of reach around the rock-hard, non-moving expanders. I can't just press my arm against them to squeeze them out of the way like I did with my real boobs! Again, I have been assured by several people that my silicon implants will be nothing like this. They'll move and squish and feel pretty real. So this is just the part where I have to deal with the ugly bulges and the uncomfortable expanders and it will all be over soon!
Dr. C says my exchange surgery will be in September probably. I have to finish getting my fills until I'm happy with the size, and then the expanders stay in for 2 months without getting fills. I'm not as stressed about this surgery, since the first one went so flawlessly. I know that will change as it gets closer but hopefully I won't spend my entire summer worrying about it, and I'll do great. That's the plan anyway :)
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